Nobody, really, but way too many people talk as if people they don’t like are going to end up in hell (hell, of course, being that place of eternal punishment—fire, generally—that some people encounter after dying).
Christians, for instance, have a long history of asserting that all non-Christians are going to hell. Which reminds me of a conversation I had in the office of the college president. The guest of honor was, and is, a noteworthy leader among Christian fundamentalists and, I might add, a friend of mine and a winsome soul. But he came accusing the college of teaching that knowledge of, and faith in, Jesus was not necessary for eternal salvation while he and his friends believe that only people who have “repented of sin and trusted Jesus” would be in heaven.
“You don’t believe what you have said here today,” I said, or words to that effect. “I can name three groups of people who have never heard of Jesus whom you claim will be given a free pass out of hell.”
He didn’t believe me and said so, right then and there; so I named them: children before the age of accountability (an old Baptist phrase without any connection to any part of the Bible) and this free pass extends, presumably, to children of any country or religion; mentally incapacitated people anywhere, everywhere, and always; and the saints of the Hebrew Bible, like Moses and Esther and such.
He had no proper retort and reluctantly conceded the point but failed to follow the logic to its appointed end. Which is what normally happens when hellfire preachers are confronted with actual people. Like the current TikToker Colten Barnaby, now an interesting and respected popular theologian. “There are at least 45,000 extremely conservative Christian pastors,” he posted yesterday, “who not only believe James Dobson was a heretic throughout his entire life but are pretty confident saying he is in hell right now.” He is referring to the Oneness Pentecostal Church, but I know nothing else about them and they surely deserve their own column.
This Colten comment, of course, was generated by the death of said Dobson, a man at once both widely venerated (especially by those people who were quick to whip disobedient children and denigrate gay people) and widely despised (especially by, first, those now-grown kids who were routinely whipped by Dobson-loving parents and, second, gay people).
I am grateful to say that I was raised by loving Christian parents before the age of Dobson, although I did get a spanking here and there, normally by my father (including on my first day of the first grade in Lexington when I ran away from school three times, the second of which provoked a spanking by my father and the third involved the police, but all of that is another story, except that experience on day one of my formal education did not keep me from spending the next 24 years in school. Apparently, I was a slow learner).
All this hell-bound talk is on the airways today because that god-fearing and universally-righteous man Donald J. Trump said publicly “I want to try and get to heaven if possible.” He said this in the context of his efforts to bring peace to Ukraine, except that peace in Ukraine is not his ultimate goal but the Nobel Peace Prize for himself, something which he has said repeatedly. He seems to think that the Nobel might enhance his chances of getting into heaven and avoiding hell, even though the Nobel is never mentioned in the Holy Bible or in any revival sermon I ever heard (and I want you to know I was saved during a revival in 1960 and later surrendered to preach during a revival in 1965, so I have my revival credentials fair and square).
If I were the President’s pastor (and here I want to confess that I have never once, no not once, been invited to the Oval Office to lay hands on Donald J. Trump and pray for his success and his salvation: not once, and I am hurt by this exclusion, yes, really hurt) … as I was saying, if I were the President’s pastor (and I don’t think he has a pastor because he doesn’t have a church because he doesn’t have a religion of any kind, but I digress) I would dissuade him of this entire hell-bound idea and all the fear and uncertainty that goes with it.
Yes, hell helps us tell good jokes. I know this because I just watched a hilarious comedy sketch wherein the British comic Rowan Atkinson welcomes people to hell. Yes, I know, the revivalists and some theologians will tell me hell is no joking matter. But I don’t believe in hell, and I doubly don’t believe that the overwhelming majority of people who ever lived, including Donald J. Trump, will end up in this mythical place of eternal torment.
Unfortunately, Donald J. Trump is the President of the United States and is creating something very close to hell on earth for lots of people, and that concerns me far more than the speculation that Trump may one day be in hell. Or heaven. He needs to quit worrying about his own future and focus more on creating heaven on earth which is, I think, what Jesus himself taught us to do, in the Prayer. The one that begins, “Our Father ….”
Nobody, really, but way too many people talk as if people they don’t like are going to end up in hell (hell, of course, being that place of eternal punishment—fire, generally—that some people encounter after dying).
Christians, for instance, have a long history of asserting that all non-Christians are going to hell. Which reminds me of a conversation I had in the office of the college president. The guest of honor was, and is, a noteworthy leader among Christian fundamentalists and, I might add, a friend of mine and a winsome soul. But he came accusing the college of teaching that knowledge of, and faith in, Jesus was not necessary for eternal salvation while he and his friends believe that only people who have “repented of sin and trusted Jesus” would be in heaven.
“You don’t believe what you have said here today,” I said, or words to that effect. “I can name three groups of people who have never heard of Jesus whom you claim will be given a free pass out of hell.”
He didn’t believe me and said so, right then and there; so I named them: children before the age of accountability (an old Baptist phrase without any connection to any part of the Bible) and this free pass extends, presumably, to children of any country or religion; mentally incapacitated people anywhere, everywhere, and always; and the saints of the Hebrew Bible, like Moses and Esther and such.
He had no proper retort and reluctantly conceded the point but failed to follow the logic to its appointed end. Which is what normally happens when hellfire preachers are confronted with actual people. Like the current TikToker Colten Barnaby, now an interesting and respected popular theologian. “There are at least 45,000 extremely conservative Christian pastors,” he posted yesterday, “who not only believe James Dobson was a heretic throughout his entire life but are pretty confident saying he is in hell right now.” He is referring to the Oneness Pentecostal Church, but I know nothing else about them and they surely deserve their own column.
This Colten comment, of course, was generated by the death of said Dobson, a man at once both widely venerated (especially by those people who were quick to whip disobedient children and denigrate gay people) and widely despised (especially by, first, those now-grown kids who were routinely whipped by Dobson-loving parents and, second, gay people).
I am grateful to say that I was raised by loving Christian parents before the age of Dobson, although I did get a spanking here and there, normally by my father (including on my first day of the first grade in Lexington when I ran away from school three times, the second of which provoked a spanking by my father and the third involved the police, but all of that is another story, except that experience on day one of my formal education did not keep me from spending the next 24 years in school. Apparently, I was a slow learner).
All this hell-bound talk is on the airways today because that god-fearing and universally-righteous man Donald J. Trump said publicly “I want to try and get to heaven if possible.” He said this in the context of his efforts to bring peace to Ukraine, except that peace in Ukraine is not his ultimate goal but the Nobel Peace Prize for himself, something which he has said repeatedly. He seems to think that the Nobel might enhance his chances of getting into heaven and avoiding hell, even though the Nobel is never mentioned in the Holy Bible or in any revival sermon I ever heard (and I want you to know I was saved during a revival in 1960 and later surrendered to preach during a revival in 1965, so I have my revival credentials fair and square).
If I were the President’s pastor (and here I want to confess that I have never once, no not once, been invited to the Oval Office to lay hands on Donald J. Trump and pray for his success and his salvation: not once, and I am hurt by this exclusion, yes, really hurt) … as I was saying, if I were the President’s pastor (and I don’t think he has a pastor because he doesn’t have a church because he doesn’t have a religion of any kind, but I digress) I would dissuade him of this entire hell-bound idea and all the fear and uncertainty that goes with it.
Yes, hell helps us tell good jokes. I know this because I just watched a hilarious comedy sketch wherein the British comic Rowan Atkinson welcomes people to hell. Yes, I know, the revivalists and some theologians will tell me hell is no joking matter. But I don’t believe in hell, and I doubly don’t believe that the overwhelming majority of people who ever lived, including Donald J. Trump, will end up in this mythical place of eternal torment.
Unfortunately, Donald J. Trump is the President of the United States and is creating something very close to hell on earth for lots of people, and that concerns me far more than the speculation that Trump may one day be in hell. Or heaven. He needs to quit worrying about his own future and focus more on creating heaven on earth which is, I think, what Jesus himself taught us to do, in the Prayer. The one that begins, “Our Father ….”
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