There is no perfect marriage.
But now, and again, there might be a perfect wedding. If so, I was witness to one on a recent Saturday afternoon: Mary Alice Birdwhistell and Evan Jacoby.
I met the young lady when she came to Georgetown College for a scholarship interview. No one who knew her was surprised when she won the top honor for entering freshmen. I met Evan as he sat beside his wife during the reception that followed the wedding. I have a deep fondness for psychiatrists and told him so; I’ve needed one on retainer for most of my adult life.
Before that, I learned about Evan because officiating minister Bob Cunningham included in the ceremony what the printed program described as “The Story That Brings us Here.” It was a narrative—humorous and informative—of their meeting online and their romance over the next two years. “They both swiped right,” he said, quoting the Bride and referring to the couple’s connection through the dating app Bungle. It is the first time I have known of such a feature in a wedding, and I wished I had thought of it years ago. This “story” was made more perfect by the bride’s joyful gesturing at each highlight. It was so, well, cute!
Even before that was the music. A chorus, a vocalist or two, a violinist, plus more than one person, it seemed, on the organ and piano. Isaac Bradley began it all with “In This Very Room” which seemed just right for such an event that I am surprised I have never heard it sung in any other wedding: “In this very room, there is quite enough love ….”
I was thrilled to attend this grand event with my daughter, the beautiful and talented Kate B, as we call her. I nudged her once, or maybe more, as the maids walked the aisle: too quickly for my mind. “Slow down,” I wanted to say to all of them, including the wide-eyed bride. Mary Alice took her time down that aisle, just not enough of it, but enough to greet somebody on every pew, it seemed, her face beaming. The church was full of family and friends, and she had too many to greet on one short stroll.
The other minister of record, Julie Pennington-Russell, did what I might normally call a wedding homily. But she called it “The Covenant That Leads us Forward.” I wanted to capitalize the U in us even if the printed program did not, but I did not take the time to consult a style guide. Given this was the perfect wedding, I give them the benefit of the doubt and thus learned a thing or two from the master of the written word, the bride herself.
The minister included in his Story a reference to the poem printed on the back page of the program, which Evan had quoted in his marriage proposal, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” The other minister quoted gospel words from the letter to the church at Colossae: “Because you are God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another; forgive whatever grievances you have against one another—forgive in the same way God has forgiven you. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds the rest together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ reign in your hearts since, as members of that body, you have been called to that peace. And dedicate yourselves to gratitude.”
What more needs to be said? Well, this: she urged the couple to “embrace mystery, cultivate curiosity, cherish difference, challenge injustice, plant kindness, breathe gratitude, spark joy, and never, ever doubt the power of love to heal and transform.”
They exchanged their vows, sweet, and kind, and clear to all, “the gentle man, with a playful spirit and calm presence, and a call to wholeness and healing” and “the kind woman, with a pastoral spirit and loving presence, and a call to awareness of the Holy.” And it was over, with a recessional to “Ode to Joy.”
It was, of course, just beginning: their marriage, their home, their life together. Weddings might be perfect, and if perfect weddings bode well for future things, then this young couple has a good chance of coming very close to a perfect marriage. I’m sure, just two weeks now from their vows, they are thinking it might be so.
Make it so, dear Lord, make it so for the longest time.
Dwight A. Moody
There is no perfect marriage.
But now, and again, there might be a perfect wedding. If so, I was witness to one on a recent Saturday afternoon: Mary Alice Birdwhistell and Evan Jacoby.
I met the young lady when she came to Georgetown College for a scholarship interview. No one who knew her was surprised when she won the top honor for entering freshmen. I met Evan as he sat beside his wife during the reception that followed the wedding. I have a deep fondness for psychiatrists and told him so; I’ve needed one on retainer for most of my adult life.
Before that, I learned about Evan because officiating minister Bob Cunningham included in the ceremony what the printed program described as “The Story That Brings us Here.” It was a narrative—humorous and informative—of their meeting online and their romance over the next two years. “They both swiped right,” he said, quoting the Bride and referring to the couple’s connection through the dating app Bungle. It is the first time I have known of such a feature in a wedding, and I wished I had thought of it years ago. This “story” was made more perfect by the bride’s joyful gesturing at each highlight. It was so, well, cute!
Even before that was the music. A chorus, a vocalist or two, a violinist, plus more than one person, it seemed, on the organ and piano. Isaac Bradley began it all with “In This Very Room” which seemed just right for such an event that I am surprised I have never heard it sung in any other wedding: “In this very room, there is quite enough love ….”
I was thrilled to attend this grand event with my daughter, the beautiful and talented Kate B, as we call her. I nudged her once, or maybe more, as the maids walked the aisle: too quickly for my mind. “Slow down,” I wanted to say to all of them, including the wide-eyed bride. Mary Alice took her time down that aisle, just not enough of it, but enough to greet somebody on every pew, it seemed, her face beaming. The church was full of family and friends, and she had too many to greet on one short stroll.
The other minister of record, Julie Pennington-Russell, did what I might normally call a wedding homily. But she called it “The Covenant That Leads us Forward.” I wanted to capitalize the U in us even if the printed program did not, but I did not take the time to consult a style guide. Given this was the perfect wedding, I give them the benefit of the doubt and thus learned a thing or two from the master of the written word, the bride herself.
The minister included in his Story a reference to the poem printed on the back page of the program, which Evan had quoted in his marriage proposal, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” The other minister quoted gospel words from the letter to the church at Colossae: “Because you are God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another; forgive whatever grievances you have against one another—forgive in the same way God has forgiven you. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds the rest together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ reign in your hearts since, as members of that body, you have been called to that peace. And dedicate yourselves to gratitude.”
What more needs to be said? Well, this: she urged the couple to “embrace mystery, cultivate curiosity, cherish difference, challenge injustice, plant kindness, breathe gratitude, spark joy, and never, ever doubt the power of love to heal and transform.”
They exchanged their vows, sweet, and kind, and clear to all, “the gentle man, with a playful spirit and calm presence, and a call to wholeness and healing” and “the kind woman, with a pastoral spirit and loving presence, and a call to awareness of the Holy.” And it was over, with a recessional to “Ode to Joy.”
It was, of course, just beginning: their marriage, their home, their life together. Weddings might be perfect, and if perfect weddings bode well for future things, then this young couple has a good chance of coming very close to a perfect marriage. I’m sure, just two weeks now from their vows, they are thinking it might be so.
Make it so, dear Lord, make it so for the longest time.
Dwight A. Moody
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